Begin Again Testimonies

Testimony 1:

I write this a week prior to my ten year anniversary. As I look back, it is amazing how much my relationship with my wife has grown. I have experienced true love and forgiveness along a path many of us do not want to experience. However, without God’s grace and love, and the strength and dedication of the Begin Again mentors, I/we would not have reached this point.

Two years ago, we hardly spoke to each other. We each went about our own business and put our focus onto our children. Our relationship became our last priority. During this time I befriended a coworker and found myself falling in love with her. When I found out my coworker felt the same way, I found myself out of control of my own life. I was not the type of person who intentionally lived his life that way. This was not to happen to me. I simply was not raised that way. But sin can and will find a way into anyone’s life…even mine. As I attempted to figure out and cleanup the mess I had made, my wife figured out my relationship with my coworker and confronted me. It was the low point of my life. I am not liar and knew it was time to tell her. A conversation I figured was the end of our family. She left for the weekend with the kids and came back…relief.

I called my parents soon afterwards and all my mom had to say was “Where is your relationship with Christ?” I had turned from the foundation in God as I had been raised. Even worse, I did not bring God’s love into my own home. We sought out help in many different directions, but it quickly became apparent that what was going to heal us faster than any other type of counseling was Begin Again. Two weeks after I was confronted, God’s hand was working because a new Begin Again session was starting. We hadn’t stepped foot in a church for over three years, yet Heritage Christian Church and Begin Again welcomed us and gave us our new life. They welcomed us to their Christian family.

The Begin Again mentors re-live their painful past in order to heal your own relationship. The love, support, time and leadership are nothing short of God’s love. And we love them for it. And I LOVE the Lord and my wife more than I thought possible. I have rededicated my life to Christ and my wife pledged her life to Christ and was baptized this past year as well. Although it took longer than either one of us wanted, God led me to a new job. My wife and I are accountable to each other, and our time together is our priority only behind our love for God.

If you are reading this and you’re in a declining relationship, there is a place of healing. Turn to God and in my opinion, there is no better place to help rebuild your relationship than Begin Again.

Time to contact Begin Again.
Time to open your heart to God.
Time to remove your defense mechanisms.
Time to listen and speak from your heart.
Time to dedicate yourself to your relationship.

In God’s grace

Testimony 2:

As with most marriages, we thought ours was pretty good. We had been married almost ten years, had two young children, and we even went out on a date once in a while. Then one day, it all changed. We knew only God could see us through this crisis, but we also knew we needed someone to talk to. Pastor Jim recommended we attend the next Begin Again Weekend. We decided to attend, knowing we couldn’t go through this alone. At the weekend, we met several couples who had gone through or were currently going through a marriage crisis. It had only been two months since our crisis, so our emotions were pretty raw, and some things were difficult to hear. We heard testimonies of brokenness and God’s mercy and healing. We also heard teachings on ways to glorify God through our relationships as married couples. This weekend began our healing process. After the weekend, we attended six weeks of follow-up sessions in a mentor couple’s home. Here we dug deeper into the causes and effects of our brokenness and into the process of healing. The follow-up sessions were a safe place for us to be honest and forthright with each other and our peers. They understood the overwhelming feeling of anger, fear, guilt, pain and sorrow we were feeling. We didn’t have to put on a “happy face” when we were there. We could be real, and we could get candid and sincere feedback and guidance from the group. Our mentor couples asked some tough questions, leading us down God’s path for reconciliation through the dialog and prayer that took place. Sometimes we wanted to give up, but being surrounded by others who had come to the other side of such a crisis helped us to persevere. Even today we’re still learning and growing, as we realize that restoration is a process, not a quick fix. We know we are better today as a couple, thanks largely in part to Begin Again.

Testimony 3:

After 22 years of Christian marriage, the unthinkable happened. Something we never expected. Our marriage was devastated by betrayal. Divorce proceedings began with no hope of reconciliation. It was hell in our home for months. Our children were crushed, we were unable to function on our jobs, and all our family history seemed unimportant and lost. The pain we experienced was so deep and our problems so personal, we had no hope and no one to cry out to but God.

Just as our divorce agreement was being finalized, God opened the door for Pastor Jim to speak truth to us both. God met us in different ways and mightily delivered us from the clutches of deception. He put us on a road to forgiveness and restoration.

For the next 8 months we experienced God’s grace like never before in our Christian lives and in our marriage. Even so, it was very difficult. We tried to walk in love and forgiveness as best we could, but there was still so much to overcome and we struggled. One day, Pastor Jim told us about Begin Again and asked if we would consider attending. Even though we were reconciled, we were still very raw and we knew we needed help. We decided to go.

Through Begin Again, it became apparent that even though we were working hard and wanted our marriage to thrive, we had much to learn. We were still doing many things wrong. We were still so blind. The truths we learned in Begin Again revealed behaviors, patterns, attitudes, and buried hurts that continued to steal from our marriage. It was hard and painful to hear some things, but we knew they were true. As we surrendered to God, He began to work on us individually, and then together as a couple. He began to change us from the inside out. We gained many lifelong marital tools through the Begin Again teachings and ministry. God began to show us how to live as one in our marriage.

Begin Again is not just a weekend with follow-ups. It’s not a place to hear lectures or preaching. It’s not a place of judgment and finger pointing. Begin Again is not counseling or a marriage enrichment seminar. Rather, it’s a place of deep understanding, safety, compassion, and empathy from real people who have lived through real pain. The Begin Again mentors are living epistles! Their prayers and ministry were so meaningful because they had experienced severe crisis in their marriages too. They came along side us through our difficult journey of restoration and offered us hope.

That was the fall of 2002. Today we can both truthfully say that we are happier and more content than we have ever been. God has taken our broken and hopeless marriage, and breathed new life into it. By His grace, our marriage now brings Him glory, and that is the best part of all.

Testimony 4:

I noticed an increase in my husband’s criticism and aloofness. Then I received a phone call that no one ever wants to get. It rocked my world when I discovered that my husband was contemplating leaving me for another woman.

In less than three weeks, we were participating in the Begin Again program. I had prayed for many years for God to heal our marriage and I began to have hope that this was the right timing and the setting in which God would work. We heard testimonies of others who had walked the rocky road of a marriage and how God had seen them through and had healed their marriage.

During the following six week sessions we received much love, guidance and encouragement from our mentors and other participants. It was obvious that our wounded healers understood our journey and could relate to our pain.

At long last, this was an answer to my many prayers, many tears, and many years of yearning. I rejoiced at what He was doing within us.

God has changed us. He is renovating our marriage and rebuilding our love for each other. Through this process, we realized that we needed to reconcile with Christ first and then with each other. Instead of looking at our own needs and blaming each other for not meeting them, we began to look to Christ to meet our needs.

There is absolutely nothing that God can’t do. He loves us more than anyone else ever could. He wants what is best for all of us and He can be trusted. We are so grateful for His extravagant love and grace.

I prayed to the Lord and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. Psalm 34:4,5

These are some of my husband’s thoughts about Begin Again:

“I found it the single most influential activity I have ever attended in connection with the Church. It opened my eyes that my problems are not unique. As a man I learned that I am not an island and with God’s teachings I can learn to open my heart and lay down my pain and wounds.”

“I learned that true strength comes through God and not myself.”

“The classes took both of us step-by-step from blame and pain to understanding and changes from within.”

Testimony 5:

My husband and I feel very blessed and thankful to be able to share our testimony with others who may find themselves in the same scary and unfortunate place we once were.

We have been married for over seven years now but at our five-year mark, we doubted we would see today…together. It appeared as though we had the best of marriages and we were both very happy, but four years into our marriage, I opened the door to a temptation that was presented to me, and I engaged in a sexual affair for well over five months. I loved my husband and didn’t want our marriage to end, but I still fell and sinned against myself, my husband, and most of all-my God. The shame I felt was unbearable and my husband never suspected a thing. I confided in two very close Christian girlfriends who went to their knees for our situation.

With their prayers and endless help, I ended the relationship with the other man. I totally removed myself from the situation and prayed for God to “fix me” so this wouldn’t happen again. You see, my dad who has been married and divorced five times and my mom is on husband number six; and almost all the divorces for them have been a result of an affair, I didn’t blame my acts on them, I knew I had made my own choice, but I didn’t want the empty, lonely life I see them both living. I carried the shame and guilt and prayed to God to help me tell my husband what I had done. Satan is clever though and he talked me into believing that my husband would never find out anyway, so why tell him? I came to believe my husband would leave our son and me. I was terrified. But thank God, HE had a plan for us. One day, almost one year after ending the affair, God spoke to me that it was time to come clean. It was the hardest thing to do, but God was there when I confessed to my husband, and he was definitely there in the weeks to come.

My husband and I are close friends with our bible study leader and his wife; we confessed the mess we were in with them and we were sitting just a couple of days later in an office at our church with the marriage and family pastor. After hearing our story, he talked to us about a weekend retreat upcoming with six additional weeks of follow-up with mentors who have experienced different trials in their marriages. It was called “Begin Again”. I was willing to do anything and Thank God, my husband’s heart is so soft and he also wanted the help.

We can’t tell you in this message the impact that Begin Again had for our lives. We met other couples that had been right where we were and had come through it. We attended the weekend and knew it was not going to be easy to confess to our mess and dig deep into our feelings about it. But we also knew it was not God’s will for our marriage to end there. The weeks of follow-up were life changing; we talked openly, learned about our wonderful God and ourselves. We received huge amounts of soaking prayer from mentors and other couples in different crisis who were to become wonderful friends, even to this day.

While our marriage is not always perfect, we are experiencing a very vibrant difference because God is now at the center of every problem, issue, and triumph. We know and believe it was God who truly healed our marriage and no matter what may be confronting you and your spouse, GOD IS THERE! Take the first step of faith to attend the weekend together, and then hold on for what God will do for you after that.

I look back at that dark time and thank God for the way he brought us through it. From the confession to my husband to the wonderful marriage we share today, because of the wonderful resource of Begin Again. God bless you and if you are thinking about this program for your marriage, we can say from experience, you will be truly changed for the better. We pray for your true restoration.

With all God’s blessings…

Testimony 6:

We came to Begin Again at the suggestion of one of Vineyard’s counselors. We didn’t know what to expect, but we hoped for a miracle. During the Begin Again weekend we were flooded with emotions, hope and most importantly, support from the Begin Again Mentors. The Mentor couples not only brought hope, but had walked in our shoes and lived to tell about it.

The real healing for us started in the follow-up groups. Every Thursday we would travel to one of the Mentor’s homes, and spend a few hours in what we considered a “safe place”. Sometimes we’d laugh, but more often than not, we’d cry - real tears, reliving real trauma and feeling the pain all over again. Through all this God was always there, and the Mentor’s always had just the right words to say, and encouragement to keep us focused and to keep us coming back. Over that six week period we saw our relationship gain momentum, develop hope and build an even stronger faith in God.

We came into Begin Again a total “mess”. When we left, we were still a “mess”, but we had support, friendship and most importantly we had a plan.

That was in June of 2004. We still have our days, but we wouldn’t be married right now if it wasn’t for the marriage Mentor’s from Begin Again..